Dear WeAreTeachers:
I have been teaching for 12 years now. For the past six years, I’ve been sharing a job with another teacher. She works Mondays and Tuesdays, and I work Wednesdays and Thursdays. We close business on Friday. He is an excellent teacher, and it has been such a wonderful partnership. We know we can trust each other. It was great when we both had babies and could cover each other for maternity leave. But now that my kids are a little older, I want to return to full-time. I am the “owner” of the work, so this is my call, but I do not want to hurt my partner’s feelings. How can I break our friendship without ruining it? – Hard to say goodbye
Dear HTSG,
What a gift for such a productive, positive partnership! It takes time, courage and weakness to build trust. It seems like you both really showed up for each other. Reciprocity is a beautiful thing. I bet you both appreciate the flexibility and support that comes with a shared agreement. And I’m glad to hear that your district approves of this option because sometimes they don’t. I am sure you are grateful to each other and your support has had a positive impact on your classroom culture. Happy Teachers Change the World!
The first thing that comes to mind when navigating this transition is to talk quickly, honestly, and frequently with your teammates. Let her know that this is a difficult decision and that your family needs to change the way they work. It is not necessary to defend your decision to take care of your family. On the contrary, you are not making hasty decisions but thinking about the future of yourself and your family. Like many difficult situations, the longer you wait, the harder it will be. This is not an easy conversation to do. Just remind yourself that you can’t control how your teammates react, but you Can Control how you react.
Most of the time we hear the phrase “holding space”, so let’s dig a little deeper. Margeaux House writes, “The definition of Holding space Being present with someone, without a decision. This means you donate your ears and heart in exchange for something you don’t want. It involves the practice of empathy and compassion. “So, be present with your whole body. Pay high-quality attention to your body language to let him know that you really care. Listen and then listen more. This change is great for your friend / colleague. Can bring uncertainty and potential surprise. You need to be ready to be grounded, calm and kind. She may cry or show anger or sadness. You may feel bad, but stay on track to listen carefully to her concerns and show that you care deeply.
I’m sure you’ll remember your conversation with gratitude and your sincere desire to be friends. If you think he knows how much you care about him. Expressing gratitude is more than saying thank you. Gratefulness.org says that “by definition, the practice of gratitude focuses on the present moment, focusing on appreciating what your life is like today and how it made it.” Take a few minutes to write down your grateful thoughts before your conversation. Maybe even write a handwritten note to give him. The type of personal touch attached to the handwritten letter communicates your time investment, intent, and appreciation. So, set aside time to talk in person and let it unfold.
Dear WeAreTeachers:
I am a breadwinner and as much as I want to rest for the summer, I need to work. I have chosen another part time job And I teach summer school. I am also in the middle of separation and I have two children. I feel like I’m always in a hurry. I get scared in the busy summer, and I don’t know how I can fill my cup and feel fresh for the new year. I want to feel inspired but don’t know where to start. What ideas do you have to help me get through this? – Crushed by Hustle
Dear CBTH,
It is perfectly understandable that you feel crushed by all the weight you carry. There are major challenges and challenges in any of these life situations that you have shared. But all at once is difficult. Really hard. Hopefully, you can find time to work with a doctor. It helps to have someone more purposeful to support you and to focus and name your progress. This co- / single-parent world is becoming harder to navigate. Wait there and be sure to help your friends and family. You do the same for the person you care about, don’t you?
Moment by moment, you are building your resilience. The American Psychological Association defines resilience as “the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially mental, emotional, and behavioral resilience and adjusting to external and internal demands.” There are factors that influence how well we adapt to the turmoil of life. Some of the features at the forefront of flexibility include how we view the world, our social resources, and our coping strategies. Fortunately for us, great flexibility can be cultivated.
It can be hard to find time for self-care, but you can fold moments into your daily routine. Take food and sleep seriously. Preparing at least one decent meal and some snacks for the day is an investment in itself and gives you the strength to show for the different roles you have in life. Is your sleep affected? Playlists of my favorite songs help me spend the nights more easily. Little things like taking a deep breath at stoplights and finding small moments of gratitude can help when you hit your head on the pillow at the end of the day. You may not have gotten a massage or taken a vacation, but these subtle self-care moments are small yet powerful.
Do you have anyone at school whom you can connect with? Once I told some of the people I worked with about my life, I realized that as a working parent I was not alone with the big relationship changes. When I authentically revealed myself, I felt immediate relief. Secrets can actually spread rumors, suspicions and isolation. So, let someone know what is going on in your life. Also, your children may be experiencing all sorts of reactions to divorce. My daughters are older and our conversations about the current reality of our family have really helped. I focus on how my father and I are doing our best to be co-parents and that they are our priority. It was hard for me to have a relationship with him and me without him. What was the hardest thing for you?
One way I build perspective is through poetry. I go back to the poet Maggie Smith and the gem of her book, Keep walking Smith writes, “I began to recognize myself as an adult, and I Which is no longer half of a We, And I’m enjoying my old good company. The silver lining of being alone is to have someone you can trust, someone you respect and understand. You can lower your guard when you are alone. You can allow yourself to live your authentic life without forgiveness. You can love yourself in a way that no one else can. I have begun to fill in the gaps created around me. I can paint my surroundings as I wish.Finally-Because now there’s finally room. “
Dear WeAreTeachers:
I am a 4th grade teacher and we are building our classes for next year. This is always a stressful process. My team usually works well together, but this process brings out the worst in a couple of teachers. My body is really shocked to talk so negatively about children. Labels are tossed around like confetti, and I’m having a hard time speaking up and stopping this poisoning. “It simply came to our notice then Very little and does not care. “” The Talented children Need more. “” I have Less Class. “” Please split Hyper boys“Those kids don’t have parental support.” There are comments like this. How can I speak without separating my team?
Dear LGOLB,
Thank you for highlighting the power of language to create learning conditions for our students and for each other. This can be very difficult to say! I imagine that we can all relate to how fear interrupts our communication. Most of us have a laid back attitude when it comes to painting a picture about ourselves. And building classes for next year can trigger these emotions.
Former principal and current author Peter Dewitt explains that “teachers have students with very different abilities in the classroom and they have student labels in front of them. Granted, labeling may be necessary for some students and provide the necessary interventions from professionals who can best help them. However, these labels have other implications. “
Let’s go back to Peter Johnston, an educator and writer who has had a huge impact on my professional and personal life. His book Choice words Is a treasure and helps me shape conversations through my deliberate language choices. Emphasizes how exemplary and magical teachers deeply understand how language affects community, learning, and freedom inside and outside the classroom. Johnston focuses on “what teachers say and do, the combined effect of which changes the literacy of their students.” Language is important to orchestrate a positive learning community. Your visceral responses make sense when you are advocating for every child every day. Do teachers want others to talk about their children in this way?
The first is to be an excellent model of language based on intent and strengths when discussing with students. Over and over When you have the courage, you can slow down the dynamics of playing with your grade-level team and focus on equity. “Recently, consider how closely I feel connected to my language and beliefs. I’ve been working on how the language I use helps create the best learning environment every day for every child. I know we’re all really tough. We work hard and have good intentions and I would like to propose that we stop further and reflect on how our words affect our children. ” Children need to believe in their abilities, and teachers cultivate the conditions for them to do so.
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Dear WeAreTeachers:
Every day, I hear my second graders talk about what they saw in the news. Often it is about violence. Between the Buffalo supermarket shoot and the Texas school shoot, I’m at a loss. They look very frustrated and almost listen for another group shoot. I don’t feel overconfident to make difficult conversations easier, so I usually jump into teaching my content. Lately, I think I can do a great job building relationships with my kids, and maybe getting involved with current events is one way to do that. What advice do you have for talking about difficult things?Want more advice columns? Visit our Ask WeAreTeachers hub.