The village is needed to take care of the child. And, for some lucky ones, a luxury hotel

When Alicia Robbins had her first two children, she, almost every woman who has given birth to a child before her, felt disturbed when she left home. The hospital.

Don’t forget that she is an obstetrician herself Gynecologist. Both times, having a baby “was a lot harder than I thought,” says Robbins, 39. “I kept wondering if breastfeeding was so difficult or I was worried. I kept asking myself, ‘Is this really my new normal?’

She traveled from her mother Arizona To help her, “but she’s kind of frozen,” Robbins said. “I love her, God bless her, but we fought over whether to keep the breast pump sterile for three hours.”

So Robbins, who lives in Greenwich, Connecticut, gave birth to her third child, Otto, on April 5, and welcomed the opportunity to check on the retreat for newborns. Babies. Until now such retreats were generally private, community based options were not available to the general public.

Melina Hope and Ariana Guilford, right, at the Boram Postnatal Retreat Nursery staff at the Langham Hotel in Manhattan on May 10, 2022. (Sarah Naomi Lewkovich / The New York Times)

“We’re there to facilitate the transition between hospital and home,” said Boram Nam, who, along with her husband Suk Park, set up the five-star Boram Postnatal Retreat on the ninth floor. Langham Hotel in New York City And Mother’s Day opened on the weekends. (They named the retreat Boram because it means “fruitful thing after hard work” in Korean, as the name implies.)

For a hefty price tag of between $ 1,300 and $ 1,400 per night, a woman who has just given birth has many things she needs (physical and mental care; medical care, however). Responsibility Mom and her out-of-date doctor (and more) she might want (sleep; feet rubbed on request; banh mi delivered to her room; and a breast pump cleaned between uses.) Most guests stay three, five or seven. Nights

“It’s like paradise for postpartum patients.”

Robbins checked in a month after Otto was born; She learned about Boram from a colleague. This was her third cesarean section and she found out Post-operation Recovery is very difficult – most likely because she had a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old child at home.

When she reached Boram, she was mentally and physically exhausted, so she took a marble bathtub, a rain shower, Nespresso machine, And the Swedish Duxiana bed. Her suite was also furnished with hospital-grade basin and eco-friendly Koteri diapers. Menu items believed to nourish new moms include: seaweed soup, bone marrow and steak.

She checked into a quiet place with her mother’s lounge, plants, and comfortable beds. There was a fridge full of milk cookies, at least half a dozen kinds of tea and hydrating beverages. The lounge is also where Boram brings pediatricians, Physiotherapists And mental health professionals offer general seminars on topics such as pelvic floor therapy and how to fall asleep faster.

Robins’ favorite part of the floor, however, was the nursery, staffed by a former Lennox Hill Hospital NICU nurse teacher and staff with a background in infant care, to see the baby whenever the mother wanted.

“I sent Otto to the nursery within three minutes of being there,” Robbins said. “And I went to sleep.”

“I also read a book,” she said, adding that she and her husband stayed there for three nights. (Partners are also welcome to stay; other kids, understandably, no.) “It’s like heaven. Postpartum patientsRobbins said.

“Many women suffer in silence.”

Even women who have spent nine months preparing to go home with a baby are shocked by the institutional support they once received. Women often have to find their own Breastfeeding consultants Collaborate with nurses and physicians to help with postpartum depression, Robbins said.

“Doctors You may be given a number to call, but most of the time you have to coordinate things yourself, and you don’t even know what you need until you get into it, “said Robbins. Rely on Facebook groups.

Sophia Chow’s room at Boram Postnatal Retreat, inside the Langham Hotel in Manhattan on May 9, 2022. The newly opened Boram Postnatal Retreat offers support and pampering to new mothers who can pay up to $ 1,400 per night, which very few receive. (Sarah Naomi Lukovich / The New York Times)

Postpartum health is largely neglected United StatesKristin Sapienza, founder of FamFirstHealth, a New York City clinic that provides maternity services to mothers.

The United States has a higher maternal mortality rate than other developed countries, and there are women of color Unequally Affected. Maternal mortality – women who died during or shortly after pregnancy – increased during epidemics, especially in blacks and Latinos. PopulationAccording to a study by the National Center for Health Statistics.

“I think a lot of women are quietly in pain or they don’t get the resources they need,” she said.

“If we really support people raising families like Sweden,” or other parts of Western Europe where postpartum home visits, for example, Worldwide healthcare“We don’t even need such a facility,” said Katherine Monk, a professor of women’s mental health at Columbia University’s Vagellos College of Physicians and Surgeons.

‘Like more band-aids for this global problem.’

Nam said she was inspired by the postpartum retreat center South Korea Sanhujori, where “new mothers go for pampering after leaving the hospital for 14 days.” The average cost for a two week stay is around $ 2,000 to $ 5,000, so while they are still not cheap, they are a little more accessible than a place like Boram.

Sanhujori are born after childbirth Tradition Because a few weeks after a woman gives birth, it is considered necessary for the health and well-being of the mother and child. Baek-il is another tradition, where mothers and babies sleep for the first 100 days after birth. They celebrate in hundreds of days.

The delivery centers, which appeared in South Korea almost 15 years ago, are, as the name suggests, a natural step forward for a culture that prioritizes the care of new mothers. “It is understood that you have family and friends who can help you with child care or food and make sure you are not alone.”

After giving birth to two babies in New York City hospitals in 2010 and 2014, she felt the need for it.

“After my first baby, I was looking for ice packs for vaginal pain in the bathroom while this little crying thing was in my living room,” Nam said. “I was just like that Traumatized Because when all my friends returned home to visit these wonderful places, I did not feel well cared for. “

She also considered returning to South Korea to give birth to her second child, but decided to open a postpartum retreat in the city. Eight years later, in May, Boram opened.

The monks said that this kind of care or tradition is found in many parts of the world except South Korea.

In Latin American CulturesFor example, the new mom rests for 40 days, which is called “la cuarentena” (or “quarantine”), while the people in the community do the housework for her and bring her hot, healthy soups.

In ChinaNew mothers, she said, spend a month in captivity called “Zoo Yuji” – or, in Mandarin, “Sitting the Month” – where they build their strength and bond after giving birth at home.

A place like the monk said Boram Every new mom deserves: “If I could design the ideal, everyone would get postpartum, and they would know they got it.”

And yet, with such a large price tag, Boram is currently only available to people who have the means to buy it – and those are the people who can afford to spend the night with nurses, babies, nurses and breastfeeding counselors anyway. “Boram feels more Band support For this global problem, “said the monk.

Boram knows there is an obstacle to this entry. “We are in talks with the companies so that our retreat can be provided to their employees as a benefit,” Nam said. “On the road, we want to work with insurers.”

For now, however, the company needs to charge higher prices to maintain its standard of service. “We have to pay for the services we are providing,” she said.

Jennifer Zolorte Doro, 35, is a clinical nutritionist and postpartum chef who lives in the Hudson Valley village of Millbrook, New York. After giving birth to her second child, JP, on April 13, she sought help to take care of herself. Delivery But there were not many in his area. So she checked in at Boram about 3 1/2 weeks after giving birth.

He especially liked hotel food.

“Food is the last thing you think, but it’s what you need most,” he added.

Filling for the ‘village’

In fact, the monks said that it was necessary to form a community Mental health Physical health of mother and child. “We published a paper in 2019 at the National Academy of Sciences where we divided people into three groups: physically stressed, psychologically stressed and healthy,” she said.

“People in stressful groups had fewer supportive people, talking people and social support in their lives,” she said. (It was also important for people to get things done.)

“While we have the message that you must return to work in six weeks, and we do not offer you any new demands or acceptance of what you have experienced, this is it. Disappointing“It’s sending a message that we’ve seen what you’ve just done, we’ll see what you’ve done, and we know it’s a big transition,” the monk said.

This article originally appeared in The New York Times.

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