Being in a relationship can always feel like hanging out with your best friend and making out, which is very impressive but sometimes, it can become our whole universe because we are completely fascinated with this one person, so we lose contact with our friends and. Stop engaging in our favorite pastimes. It is possible to feel that you are losing yourself in a relationship, which can be uncomfortable.
Love can be like wearing a pair of magic glasses that change your perception of the world – the colors look more vibrant, the food tastes better and finally the radio tunes make sense. Initially, you will undoubtedly be the head over heels for this person and the honeymoon period is a real event but the most important thing to remember is not to lose yourself in this new and exciting endeavor or forget who you were before entering this partnership. . How do you accomplish this? Let’s plow through it!
In an interview with HT Lifestyle, Dr. Malini Saba, a psychologist and founder of the Ananke Foundation, reveals five ways to avoid losing yourself in a relationship:
1. Put yourself first – Self-care is also important in relationships. This indicates that you are continuing your care. Self-care can include maintaining your interests, pursuing your goals, and continuing to entertain you. You don’t have to depend on anyone else to complete it. You will find that you share many similarities with your partner and like to do things together, which is incredible but you still have to meet your own needs while remaining true to yourself and your passions. Anything that gives you a few minutes of complete enjoyment is acceptable, such as putting on your makeup at your favorite salon, watching an episode of your favorite web series, cooking, swimming, planting, singing, making friends or five, saying it’s not your job. , Getting photography lessons, joining dance groups, starting book clubs, collecting wine, etc. Just get something related to you, and remember to accept who you like and what you don’t like.
2. Your self-worth – In the pursuit of love, we can sometimes break the boundaries of self-respect that we would not normally cross. This is another indicator that the relationship is not healthy for you, whether you engage in activities that make you feel abusive or allow yourself to behave abusively. Never give up your right to be treated with courtesy and respect. If anyone crosses this line, you must remove them immediately. If you allow this treatment to continue, it will deteriorate and you will eventually hate yourself for allowing it.
3. Don’t replace “we” with “I” – Remember that as long as you and your partner are together, you are still one person. If you are invited somewhere yourself, your partner should not be considered invited either. If you enjoy pasta, say, “We love pasta!” Avoid expressions. You are unique people with different interests and preferences. Try to maintain a different identity although at times you may feel like you have shared a mind.
4. Your ability to make decisions – Consider judging as a muscle that weakens with inactivity. The less we make our partners in decision making, the less likely we are to make future decisions and think independently. This doesn’t mean you have to make every decision on your own, but you should take care of your partner’s double-checking habits before making a decision – especially if it involves relatively minor things like groceries. Purchase Think freely and keep making decisions, no matter how small. It contributes to the preservation of your personality and your ability to stand on your own two feet.
5. Don’t overdo it – Of course, it is beneficial to adjust others to the relationship by compromise, but it is not acceptable to be the only one to make sacrifices. Soon, little things will become everything, and you will no longer be yourself. In a relationship, it is important to know when to bow, but be careful that you do not break.
Bringing her expertise to the same level, psychologist Dr. Ariba Abbasi shared 5 things you can do to avoid losing your identity while in a relationship:
1. Try to build a strong foundation – Daily, ask yourself, “What do I need?” How can I love myself today? The answers will help you to love and value yourself. Choose people, situations and resources that will help you. Take care of yourself, be kind to yourself and stay away from self-determination. Create boundaries to save your time and energy and remember to become your own cheerleader and follow your own instincts. Change your preferences. You come first, then everything else. Choose yourself. Put your welfare first. You must come first. You can create significance in your life. Stop making others happy. Your thing
2. Identify yourself – Make a list of your current needs. On a sheet of paper, create four columns. There should be labels for each column: emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual. Carefully consider what you need in each of these four categories to be satisfied. Additionally, you can list your top five to 10 preferences on paper. These are the things you want to focus on in the moment because they are important to you. Make a list of them in order of importance.
3. Keep strong boundaries – In a relationship, be careful not to negotiate. Things you just can’t stand and deal with. And talk to them so that your partner is aware and respectful of them. In relationships, healthy boundaries will make you feel stronger and more in control. If you ignore your limitations, you will feel tired, overwhelmed and weak. Healthy boundaries prevent people from losing themselves in romantic relationships.
4. Be clear in your communication – Discuss how you feel. Discuss what may not work for you. Talk about what you like and don’t like. You can also tell your partner that you are afraid of losing yourself in the relationship again. Honest and clear communication will strengthen the relationship with your partner. The only way to improve a relationship is to recognize its weaknesses. So, speak freely!
5. Prioritize your sex – Sexuality is not just a personal expression of affection between two people; It is also an important component of you as an adult. Focus on your sexuality: Appreciate the humor of flirting, the sensitivity of intimate contact, and the passion to love.
According to Dr. Fauzia Masood, a psychologist and co-founder of Hope Well Counseling Services, here are five things you should never give up for a relationship:
1. Stop being so generous and sociable – Over-giving is usually the result of lack of self-worth and seeking approval. We think that the more we love our relationship, the more love we will get in return. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works. In the long run, it is certain to create resentment and the emotion and resentment that is taken into account is a determining factor in the happiness and permanence of the relationship. When you give too much in a relationship, you risk losing not only yourself but also the relationship.
2. Separate yourself from your partner – Continue to engage with yourself and your interests without the participation of your partner. Maybe you enjoy classical dance but your partner doesn’t. Engage yourself and your hobbies without your spouse’s involvement. Maybe you appreciate classical dance but your spouse doesn’t. Keep dancing! Maybe you enjoy playing basketball every Sunday with your friends but your significant other is terrified at the game and refuses to join you. That’s fine! You can continue playing basketball with your friends because the game makes connections easier with both them and you.
3. Your Happiness – Sometimes, the fear of being alone is greater than our desire for true happiness. As a result, we continue to pursue partnerships that do not bring out the best in us. We live in a normal relationship out of fear of the unknown, so we are doing ourselves a great disservice. You have only one life, so try not to waste it on unhappy relationships. Avoid long-term relationships that hurt your sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. Ask yourself why you feel unhappy and dissatisfied, and consider if it has anything to do with your current relationship.
4. Your financial and personal freedom – The experience in a relationship can be fun and loving. It is always necessary to maintain your personality and fight the temptation to merge into one identity. See your friends, follow interests that don’t necessarily involve your partner and have a separate bank account. Freedom is healthy and always makes you feel like you are in a relationship because you want to be there, not because you have to.
5. Share with someone you love – You may believe this painfully clearly but is that the case? If a boyfriend wants to change you, they don’t love you for who you are. When you meet someone you love, that person doesn’t expect to lose your identity because they are in love with that identity. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses. Start a relationship with the hope that there will be some problems and obstacles. The relationship is not complete but must be true.