Buy a shirt
On and off the pitch, Ajax have long been known as innovators at the forefront. The Dutch club are generally credited with inventing ‘total football’ in the 1970s, while their home ground has no end of eco-initiatives that have made it one of the world’s greenest, most sustainable stadiums. Where Ajax goes, other clubs often follow, and it can be hoped that every other football club on the planet will soon follow suit after fans are banned from carrying around shirts to carry shirts around players’ waists today. .
What started out as an innovative, slightly endearing snarl from a few wide-eyed innocents in the crowd a few seasons ago has turned into widespread cuts of late. The demand for free “stuff” is so saturated that we’ve reached the point where it’s no longer possible to sit in front of the TV with a beer in hand on Super Sunday without witnessing it. Dozens of entitled, perceptive, young, and sometimes depressingly old—sit by hoards of advertisements, Tweets in hand, homemade cardboard rectangles, written appeals to buy the dirty shirts off their favorite player’s back.
Ajax’s supporters’ association has been told that the number of such signs, mainly held by children at games, is increasing and it will no longer be possible for players to accept all requests. They also suggested that if their players couldn’t see through these misguided urges or simply ignored them, they got fed up with badgering and abuse. To avoid any potential loopholes that could include references to Davy Klaassen’s shorts, steps, socks, elbows or boots, Ajax pointed out that such markings are a fire hazard and any changes to the crease of the shirts will be confiscated by the stewards.
If, as The Fiver hopes, all clubs follow Ajax’s pioneering lead, Everton fans can at least take solace in the news that their club has come up with a new shirt distribution scheme. In a statement written in every sense we could write in Klingon, the club revealed what looked suspiciously like a scrimmage involving a kit of theirs. Together with Everton digital wearables platform Fancurve – Fiver considers the life choices that actually make you write these words – Everton will soon release officially licensed, club-branded digital wearable shirts.
“Designed and created by Fancurve’s team of highly skilled 3D fashion designers and inspired by the club’s identity and values, these unique, photorealistic personalized collections will allow fans to express their unrivaled passion for Everton by wearing them. their avatars in the Metaverse,” he explains, avoiding shedding light on what the Metaverse is for the benefit of your poor confused Fiver.
While we’re happy to be corrected by young readers, our take on the situation is that it’s some kind of magical witch portal that nerds travel to to escape the more mundane reality of sitting in their mom’s spare bedroom wearing sweat-stained Minecraft. A shirt sprinkled with Monster Munch crumbs. What better escape from such a tiresome reality than a pure virtual Everton shirt – the club will of course expect fans to pay in yet-to-be-specified real-world money.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“I’m so excited for the Lions… I kept quiet about it during the tournament because of all the usual nonsense surrounding everything I had to say. Tell me guys – how many of you have both received and sent memes? Was it fun? There’s no lad who hasn’t or hasn’t – they’re still after me’ – Richard Keys congratulates England on their Euro 2022 win, somehow talking about himself.
This is David Squires on England’s Euro 2022 glory, his vision for the future and a letter from Boris Johnson from Equality.
“Was there a joke/pun I missed with yesterday’s ‘Basque lions spotlight’ headline? I have read and re-read the story and can only conclude that it is bad journalism. Ah” – Paul Dixon (and others). [Apologies; it was good old-fashioned incompetence – Fiver Ed].
“Re: ‘middle-aged faces contorted in saliva-stained fury’ missing at Wembley (Monday Fifth). Should I act as such a face at Wembley on Sunday, anger was directed at the referee for two soft England bookings in less than a minute. Then he told me to sit in the hospitality dress. Shrimp sandwiches are good though” – Rob Ford.
“It’s about finally winning a major international tournament and inspiring a new generation of players and fans, but surely the real joy of winning the Euros is finally getting rid of that overrated song” – Noble Francis.
“Football doesn’t come home anymore”? This is England. Football will play Do One again anytime now. I probably won’t live to see him come home again, and I’ll tell you now, I’m not wasting my declining years humming the Discomister.” – Jon Millard
“Re: Big Paper’s Premier League views. West Ham (like me) and Wolves fans face two weeks of anxiety every year before we can discover the fate of our teams. Why does this lexicographic bias persist? – Paul Bowles. [Both between seventh and 17th, hope this helps – Fiver Ed].
Send your letters to [email protected] You can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our free letter is… Paul Dixon, for rereading the Fifth.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Seven in 10 Premier League players send abusive tweets – an average of 362 a day – a new study has revealed.
Diogo Jota has signed a new five-year contract with Liverpool, while Joe Gelhardt, Sam Greenwood and Crysencio Summerville have signed similar long-term deals at Leeds.
England is getting ready to play the USA! USA!! USA!!! World and European champions match at Wembley on October 7. In other news, Mary Earps, Leah Williamson, Keira Walsh and Beth Mead have been named in UEFA’s Euro 2022 squad.
Corin Diacre, head coach of the French national team, has extended his contract until the 2024 Paris Olympics. “I am happy and proud to continue the adventure,” he said.
Big shooting news! Pope’s O’Rangers will face Monaco or PSV Eindhoven if they beat Belgium’s Union Saint-Gilloise in the Grand Cup play-offs. In the Big Vase, Hearts face either Linfield or FC Zurich, while West Ham will play either Viborg (Denmark) or B36 Torshavn (Faroe Islands) for a place in the Big Pot.
Hot transfer talk! Newcastle have failed in a £50m bid for Leicester’s James Maddison, Chelsea are sniffing around Southampton’s Kyle Walker-Peters and West Ham’s Arthur Masuaku has been loaned to Besiktas.
And in a development that will surely put an end to the refereeing dispute, the Premier League could hold talks between referees and the VAR community after games.
STILL WANT MORE?
Jonathan Liew believes the boom in men’s football over the past 30 years offers a road map and a warning for the women’s game.
England captain Leah Williamson describes how her team understands their platform, says Anita Asante.
It’s Manchester day for our Premier League preview: here’s City and here’s United.
“We knew Chloe was going to be successful,” Joel Mians says of England’s Euro 2022 hero’s childhood friend.
Moving the goalposts has a plan to capitalize on England’s Euro 2022 success – in six easy steps.
Fill in the transfer tittle-tattle on The Rumor Mill.
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